You're young and depressed, but you're very well dressed...

I get so frustrated with my lack of commitment and consistency. It seems that I always fall back into the stupid things that I know are clogging my life and distancing me from growing closer to God. Jesus said it simply,"Follow me". It's very honest and direct, and I long to do it and nothing else.
I make these plans and goals of how I can better follow Him, but sin always seems to creep in like a shadow. But that's no excuse! I need to be better prepared, be in the Word and on my knees. I need to walk the walk, and not just talk about being a believer, but actually doing it, and persistently at that. I seemed so much stronger in high school, my knowledge was small, but my faith was big, and now it's seems as though that hast been reversed. I know too much! I let my knowledge take place of my actions, and it needs to stop...

Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away...

I've realized that when one partakes of certain grown-up beverages that there comes a point where you reach a moment of clarity and everything seems to make sense. Now, it takes a certain amount of these beverages to find this clarity, but even if it is only for a moment it almost seems worth it, of course in the morning one may disagree, but for that one instance you view your world from above. You speak truth, even if its harsh. You share your deepest feelings for those around you even if you don't know them, which can be awkward depending on who it is and what you say. Your problems with women and your job and issues in general just seem to be put on hold, and you feel free. In some instances you become more philosophical and determined to get your point across to your fellow patrons, other times you are just loud and funny, and want to tell everyone just how much you love them, and sometimes you just play a lot of air guitar :) Nevertheless, for one night the only things that matter are the good people you are with and the good spirits you are indulging in. Inevitably, however, this wonderful night ends into a not-so-wonderful morning of reality, which makes you wonder why you did it in the first place, but then you do have those terrific memories of clarity, well, maybe... :)

I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well...

Sometimes I think I have it all together, and then life throws me a curveball that I wasn't ready for and I swing and miss badly. Just when I think I have it figured it out things get messed up, and I have to start all over. It's frustrating and discouraging and makes me want to just stop trying. The worst of it all is that there is no one to blame, it's just one of those things that happens. It's life, and that's it. And I'm not trying to be a whiner or obtain any pity because most of the time life is really great, but sometimes it just sucks and this is one of those times...