We were good as married in my mind, but married in my minds no good...

Have you ever met someone by accident or on purpose and you just really clicked? So much so that you may disregard serious shortcomings they may have because you just want to focus on the fact that you're like 2 peas in a pod? You wonder about dating this person, and where it all could lead, all the while trying to ignore aspects about them that clash with you. Perhaps you change your perception of your relationship with them to that of a girl's and think "Maybe I can help them change". You analyze everything good about them, and compare and contrast it to that which is bad, and you work to manipulate numbers that will allow a positive remainder so that you can be content in believing what you think is true, but nevertheless, you can't turn a blind eye to certain things that you know would not work in the relationship, and you can't go against what you know to be right in your heart no matter how hard you try. Have you ever met someone like this? Me neither...

I won't go down by myself but I'll go down with my friends...

One of the struggles I have as a Christian is interacting with people who harbor bitterness and anger towards Christianity and/or Christians because of what one or a few "Christian(s)" have done to them. Because of this they stereotype all Christians as being this way and automatically write off all of them. This sort of prejudice is usually race related, i.e. "All Mexicans are this, all blacks are that", but more and more it's seems to happen with Christianity. I'm sure it happens with others groups of faith like Muslims or Buddhists, but since I'm neither of those I can't give an informed answer. Nevertheless, I find these people more difficult because their reasons to not believe Christianity or to like Christians are driven by the forces of anger and bitterness, and not because they have searched and pondered and decided not to believe. I'd rather deal with atheists and agnostics who have traveled the journey to find faith rather than these other people.

Of course there are some atheist and agnostics who don't believe because of their experiences with Christians, but regardless one should not make such an important decision based on the representatives, that is human beings. We are fallible and sinful people who do not always make the right choice or set the right example, but that doesn't mean you should make your decision about something as important as your soul based on what you see in the average "Christian". Just as if a black person robbed your house, you should not believe that all black people are thieves. This particular person chose the life of crime and he/she happened to be black. To make such a proclamation about an entire group of people based on one individual's actions is ignorant, and just plain sad.

I think dealing with these type of people is difficult for me because I consider myself an open-minded educated Christian, and these people are so embittered by their past experiences that they close their hearts to anybody who mentions the name of Christ in any form. Forgiveness is lacking for whatever reason, which makes building a relationship quite a task. I can love them as Christ loves them, but until they let go of these feelings they will never truly be free. Their vision will forever be blurred by their own stubbornness and prejudices and that brings me much sorrow because some of the people I meet I believe that we could be close, but they won't let me get too near because I carry the name of Christ. Alas, I must continue to fight the good fight...

Just wakin' up in the mornin' gotta thank God, I dunno but today seems kinda odd...

So this is the earliest I've been up in a long long time. Those of you who know me know how much of a morning person I am. Well, unfortunately the gardeners came today at 6am and I awoke from a very nice dream to the sound of which I thought was a chainsaw coming towards my head, but actually it was a lawn mower starting. These gardeners come randomly every couple of weeks, but I seriously don't know why they even bother since the grass barely grows, and weeds are the same as flowers in Arizona. As long as something is growing we are happy.

So, it's already June, and feel like I am not accomplishing anything I've wanted to do so far. Not that I had a long list of things, but just simple things like: read more, play my guitar more, exercise etc. But it's just so easy to sleep in and watch tv and play video games. It amazes me how little ambition I have sometimes....Actually it doesn't "amaze" me. At least it shouldn't because being amazed should be something that is positively awesome, not negatively awesome. Anyways, I'm going to change my ways starting today! And I'm going to start off with something I usually don't do which is to have breakfast during the typical breakfast time. I eat breakfast food, but it usually isn't in the morning so this will be something totally life changing! Or not so much...

Hello Blogger my old friend...

Well, it's been quite a while since I've been back on here writing and commenting, but I figured I would reunite with my blog and begin to write again. My hiatus found me spending a lot of time on myspace, but the blogging on there just doesn't have the same aesthetic beauty as it does on here. I guess I feel that I can be deeper on this piece, whereas my myspace profile is pretty much for laughs.
Lately I've been feeling very much alone. Mainly because the dorm is now closed and only summer school is in session, so there's only myself and the women's RD living in the dorm. The campus is so vacant and slow. It's like a ghost town with only the most random of souls wandering about the campus. Moreover, it seems that I have fallen out of the "loop" with some of my friends for reasons I don't really know, but they don't invite me to hang out with them anymore. And when confronted about this they pretend like it's nothing, and that they didn't plan to hang out, and that it was spontaneous, but that's BS.
So, once again, I'm dealing with this concept of loneliness and trying to be at peace with spending time by myself. It's difficult because I really am a social butterfly, but at times I can be very secluded, but even during these times I know deep down I'd rather be out-and-about. It's also weird because I have now been at this job longer then any of my previous ones before and I'm getting itchy. Not that I want to leave because I do like my job, but I want to see what else is out there. I have "job A.D.D." because I can't stay at any job too long without getting bored of it and wanting to do something else. Many of my jobs have been summer jobs so they were destined to be short from the beginning. I can't really see myself being in AZ much longer. At least not Phoenix. I don't really like it here, and the heat just makes it worse. I miss the beach...

This turpentine chasers got kick...

Lately, I've felt like I've been in a garden smelling different types of flowers, and I just can't decide which one I like best. One moment it's a rose, and I love it's smell. It's sweet and fun, and I think it's my favorite. Then the smell goes away, and I see another flower, this time a daisy. The daisy is nice too. It's different from the rose, but it still smells nice. I really like the daisy, and think that maybe it is now my favorite. But then it blows away, and I see another flower. Now it's a tulip which is different from the rose and the daisy, but is still just as great. Then I see the rose again, and leave the tulip on the ground.
I'm confused as to which is my favorite flower in the garden, and I wonder if I should even be there. These flowers are not mine to pick, but there is no owner of the garden. What should I do...

Consider this an invitation to my gangsta nation...

I apologize for not posting in a long time, but I have found someone else. That someone else is Myspace. I love you Blogger, but Myspace does things for me that you simply cannot. I don't have time to explain it all. I still love you, but I need space, myspace.

The glove compartment isn't accurately named and everybody knows it...

So I've been reading and seeing a bunch of "Top" lists on blogs and tv lately, and so I thought that I would make a top 10 list of the albums that I would keep if I could only keep 10 albums for the rest of my life. You may add your lists via comment if you so wish.

In no particular order:

1. Weezer -The blue album
2. Pedro the Lion- a compliation I made myself with the best songs of all his albums and eps
3. Jurassic 5- Quality Control
4. Stavesacre- Speakeasy
5. Rage Against the Machine- Self Titled
6. Noise Ratchet- Until we have faces
7. Five Iron Frenzy- Upbeats and beatdowns
8. Jimmy Eat World- Clarity
9. The Essential Johnny Cash
10. Dashboard Confessional Compilation

Honorable mention:
1. Jack Johnson- Brushfire fairytales
2. Project 86- All of them except for Truthless heroes
3. U2- The best of the 80's and 90's
4. The Strokes- Is this it
5. The Get Up Kids- Something to Write Home About
6. Further Seems Forever- The moon is down
7. Death Cab for Cutie- Transatlanticsm

The following are albums that could make this list but I have not been listening to them long enough to qualify:

1. The Killers- Hot fuss
2. Snow Patrol- Final straw
3. Franz Ferdinand- Self Titled
4. Modest Mouse- Good news for people who love bad news
5. Elliot Smith- From a basement on a hill

What happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico...

It pains me to use a country song as my title, but it seemed only fitting as I spent this past weekend in Rocky Pointe. The trip did fulfill my desire for the beach as we got to camp no more than 50 feet from the crystal blue water. It is a very beautiful place. We were very lucky to have our friend Beth on the trip because she was the only one who spoke decent Spanish despite having Anthony, who is half-Mexican on the trip. If not for her we most likely would've ended up sleeping on a rockpile or in the back of the truck with the sandy beach nowhere in sight.

Many tacos were eaten, some beers drank, and a seagull was killed when it mistakenly picked up an m-80 in it's beak thinking it was food. The bird was taken down by the blow, but did not die, and so it had to have a rock dropped on it in order to cease the suffering that was occurring. The bird did not die without revenge though because as the rock hit him he let out a saddening death cry that will resonate with the rock-dropper for the rest of his life. Happy Humpday and ground hogs day...

Lonely and dreaming of the West Coast...

So I really miss the beach. I've realized that for so many years I have taken it for granted because it's always been there. I miss the cool soft sand between my toes, and the warm sun on my face. I miss the sudden jolt the freezing water gives when you jump in at midnight. I miss the feel of the sudden transformation the sand takes as you run back out of the water towards the warm bonfire. This feeling I can best describe as running across broken glass. I miss sunsets and sunrises, both of which show God's magnificent hand at work. I miss walking down the pier, and looking in people's buckets to see what they have caught that night. I miss smores and worship around the bonfire. BEACH, I love thee.

The worst part of being in Arizona is that here at school they have this huge mural of different beaches painted inside the Student Union building. It's like some sick joke the management team did to these kids. Showing them where they could be going to school; some California school next to the beach. Alas, my state of deprivation will be soon ending as I am planning an RA retreat to San Diego in February. Huzzah!!!

We don't need no water let the mofo burn...

So we've had 5 fire alarms this month alone. One was actually pulled and the other 4 were miscues by the security system. The most recent one was at 5am, so hooray for dorm life.

Anyways, I've have rekindled my love for Homestarrunner after a hiatus for about a year and half. I was really into it before it got big. Me and guys on the wing watched it way back when there were only like 7 or 8 Strongbad emails, and then it got big and everybody was watching it and quoting it, and I suddenly got detached from it because it became mainstream. It was like my favorite local band got big, and was no longer mine. Funny how that happens with a lot of different things...

The problem with rules are they alienate the criminals...

So I'm posting a new blog at the request of one of my readers because my last blog reached a record setting 24 comments!!! The blogger people actually wrote me and asked if I could trim them down, and I told them to cram it with walnuts because there's no way I'd censor my readers. Dubya can censor hip-hop but not me!!!
Anyways, my new music recommendation is Snow Patrol which I picked up last week, and it's really good despite the very random and simplistic band name. They have a "Coldplay" feel to them, but with out the English accent or radio play. Pick them up now because their album is really cheap everywhere. I still recommend the Killers out there to anyone who is looking for a rockin' good time.
On the movie scene, I saw "Attack on Precinct 13" tonight and it's pretty good. It's your typical Ethan-Hawk-plays-white-cop-alongside-dominant-black-actor-who-is-actually-a-bad-guy movie, much in the style of his earlier flick Training Day. The movie is definitely worth seeing because the plot is interesting, it has some good action, and Ja Rule. What more could you want in a movie...

I can tell that we are gonna be friends...

Remember when you were young, say 3, 4, or 5, and becoming friends with somebody was so simple and easy. There were no preconditions or judgments, you just automatically became friends with whatever kid you ran into regardless of race or looks.

I observed this while at a Carl's Jr this weekend. A little girl was standing in line with her mom when another little girl (who looked like Dora the explorer) came in with her mother. The first girl was white, the second was Mexican, and instantly they became friends. They started chatting about whatever it is that 3 year-olds chat about, and they ran about the restaurant playing until their mothers called them away to eat their food.

I remember being a child and making friends everywhere I went. Even if I never saw them again because I met them at the park or beach, they were still my friends. As a child, the way somebody looked had no influence on my choice to be their friend. I was their friend because they were like me, a kid. Somewhere amidst my growing up I lost that innocence.

I guess as we get older and become "educated" we become much more judgmental and elitist. We pass judgment before we even get to know somebody based on their race or looks, and I know that I've done it plenty of times. If only we could all become little kids again...

They don't gotta burn the books they just remove'em...

Alright, a big high-five to anybody who can name the band and/or song the title of this post comes from...

Anyways, I've been keeping up on my NYR and been reading my book. I really like this book, and it's weird because I've owned it for almost 4 years. In fact, I believe I might have 2 copies of it because I think I received it as a birthday gift for two separate birthdays. I began reading it long ago, and didn't really get into it, but now I love it. It's really God's timing because this book really speaks to me. It's always been hard for me to get into recreational reading, other than the newspaper, Sports Illustrated, or SPIN magazine because I've been forced to read so many books for my classes. Having been a double major in philosophy and history created a mighty big load, not to mention I was a political science major for 2 years before I switched majors. Combine all those "required" readings and it's gets very burdensome. Nevertheless, I enjoy my new found love of reading and I hope it continues.

This section of my post I am devoting to my friend Pieter who still hasn't posted a comment in a long time or left his blog addy so that I might peer into his thoughts. Hurry up and do it you little Dutch bastard... :o)

'Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this...

Another line from The Killers for the title, I guess that will be my new M.O. for blogging. A high five to the first reader (all 3 of you) who can correctly guess (via comment) which song and/or band my future blog titles come from.

Anyways, whoever gave my name to www.findmeadate.com is going to feel my wrath 10-fold when I find out who you are. It actually was a funny situation when the lady called me while I was in the changing room at the Burlington Coat factory. I figured it was a joke, so I kept asking if I could take her out, and she kept saying "No sir, this isn't for me, but for all the other ladies out there". Then she asked me what I was doing in a changing room. I guess realizing the obvious isn't a requirement to work the phones of an internet dating site. She's supposed to call me back so that I can take some survey, and get a free coupon for a dinner for that special lady who is sitting behind her keyboard waiting to meet me. But I'm not signing up for anything, I haven't reached that point in my life yet. Maybe in a few weeks...

I got soul but I'm not a soldier...

So I've been listening to the Killers a lot lately, which is the reason for the title of this post, and it's my favorite album right now. You should definitely go pick it up, do not be scared by the name of the band.
Anyways, in accordance with my NYR I've been reading a book. The Pursuit of God by Tozer to be exact, and this man has hit my whole persona on the head. Lately, I feel that I've become bi-polar in regards to my passions. I'll read something or see something and get really inspired, but then when I leave my little zone, and the real world is before me, I buckle over and don't do any of it. Tozer really nailed me this morning while I read in the bathroom (which is my favorite place to read). I'm tired of my lack of desire, and I thirst to be more thirsty. I want God to say to my soul "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away". Seriously, that quote sums up my entire existence. I just get so bogged down with so many petty things: money, image, girls (which is by far the worst of them all), and then I will slowly come out of this Bog and want to do something. I'll be inspired by the Bible or something else and really get excited about accomplishing something, but then when I get to work or some other part of life, I just don't see the connection between what inspired me and whatever I'm dealing with that day. I hope this makes sense because it makes sense in my head, but I don't know if it does on this blog, but I don't want to retype anything. Give me grace to rise and follow...

Don't call it a comeback...

So it is my return to blogging in the two-double-O=nickel, and it's great to be back. For all my readers out there (all two of you) I'm sure it was difficult to press on through the holidays without reading my witty banter. I am sorry for any inconveniences my sabbatical may have caused, but my parents computer is dial-up and we all know what that means.
Anyways, Christmas break was good. Got to see friends and be with the family, got to go to Vegas and donate some cash. Now it's back to "work" here in Phoenix. I don't usually make New Years Resolutions because I never keep them, but this year I resolute to read a book a month. Now, I don't mean a huge book, but a nice average book. I figure I can expand my mind outside of being forced to read by the college institutions. Reading is fun! So now I can read more than just Sports Illustrated, SPIN, and the Bible (this last one I highly recommend).
I hope everyone had a nice holiday, and my prayers go out to the families of those lost in the tsunami. Take care...

Heckle and Jeckle...

I consider myself a professional heckler because I know how to get under people's skin without using profanity or taking personal shots at them. Of course, this talent has had to develop over time because my freshmen year of college I'd pretty much say anything at the basketball and volleyball games I attended. I take pride in my heckling. Being able to be witty and not disrespectful is not an easy thing. Possibly my best performance came this past Saturday at the NAIA championship volleyball game between MY California Baptist University Lancers and the Concordia Eagles. This was a big deal for our Lady Lancers because last year they were pretty much the worse team in all of NAIA and now they were in the championship game.
Well, Concordia's Libero (which is the back row specialist wearing the different colored jersey, if you aren't familiar with v-ball) wasn't very good. She couldn't pass well, and always seemed out of position for digs, and if you're a Libero these two things are essential. So I targeted her, and kept yelling for our girls to serve her, and hit at her. There was this ball that fell in front of her and she totally could have gotten to it had she made any kind of effort. I then yelled at her, "You gotta lay out Libero, this the championship game, and you gotta lay out". Immediately following that the Concordia coach turned around and looked at me and then got up and came over and said "You know what? These girls are giving it their all, and its NOT COOL that you are saying stuff to them. Totally NOT COOL!" Well, I'm sure I could've responded to her sarcastically, but to not raise the level of the situation, I just smiled and nodded. She then proceeded to point me out to the referee who then told the facilities manager, who then called down my old Athletic Director (who knows me quite well) and he came and talked to me. I told him what I said and he kind of just laughed it off and said "Is that all?".
Now, this doesn't appear to be that great of a heckling job, but I was not aware of who this coach was. She is a former 3 time NCAA champion, 3 time medalist winner, and in the volleyball hall of fame. So I feel pretty good that my little comments could get under the skin of such a prestigious volleyball entity, And our ladies won the championship!!! Go Lady Lancers...

Why do bad guys get the good girls...

This has been something that has boggled my mind for sometime now. I just don't get it. How do guys who can only be described as the nickname for Richard get quality girls??? I mean, I know quite a few girls that are definite quality girls, but they date total A-holes. Nice guys always get jacked, and when I ask girls why this is, the answers I received are so ridiculous it makes my head hurt. My favorite one is that "usually girls do realize that their b/f is a jerk, but they know he has a good side and they care about him so they try to change him, but that doesn't usually work."
Well isn't that peachy. So let me get this straight: A guy is a jerk, but he's isn't a jerk towards the girl, which makes him fake and two-faced. The girl realizes this, and, instead of tossing him and finding a better guy, she tries to change him. But the guys out there who aren't jerks, the guys who are well-rounded individuals, get screwed. Isn't that lovely?
Ladies, ladies, ladies, just because a guy is nice to you, and pursues you doesn't mean you should date him. If you know he's a jerk, but nice to you, it will only be a matter of time before that is turned towards you. HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE!!! Please don't settle for these losers. You deserve better...

Back in action...

I apologize to all my readers out there (all 2 of you) for the delay in posts, but I was on holiday in not-so-sunny California where it has become quite cold and even snowed at my parents house. Anyways, its good to be back in suprisingly-cold Arizona, and it's fun to type with hyphens! Let's have 3 cheers for thanksgiving as it continues to press on as the least commercialized holiday. The only constant blemish on it's record is that people are still being taught that the Pilgrims and the Indians ate together. Come on now people! That's all folklore they taught us in grade school. Maybe a few on each side formed some sort of bond, but do you really think a group like the Pilgrims would befriend a race of people that they would most certainly deem ungodly? Thanksgiving actually starts with good ol' Abe Lincoln who christened the last Thursday of November as the day that we should get together with our loved ones and give thanks to the Creator. Go Abe!!! Now on to Christmas for which I love and hate at the same time. I love it because it's a time to celebrate the birth of the Savior (which actually probably happened in April) and another time to be with family. Unfortunately, it has become a capitalist's dream as we strive each and every year to accumulate crap we don't really need. Cheers...

You have a grudge...

So I saw "The Grudge" tonight and boy is that moving freakin' scary. I love scary movies because I love the feeling of your heart pumping and of adrenaline searing through your entire body. I don't really get scared, but I love it when a movie makes you jump, and The Grudge is definitely that kind of movie. Plus, Sarah Michelle Geller actually does a good job. I was a little hesitant at first because I don't think she is really that great of an actress, but she did well in this one. The movie does seem to draw from other movies, most noticeably "The Ring", but it is still good nonetheless. If you haven't seen it, go see it. Watch out for the weird little kid and the eerie sound that all the ghosts seem to make. Until next time...